Who Am I, That the Lord of All the Earth, Would Care To Know My Name?

If I'm being honest, I had a really terrible morning today. Some of my expectations were disappointed and I got angry. Probably the most angry I've been in a very long time. I was angry, frustrated, disappointed, sad, embarrassed all wrapped up into one emotional mess. Of course being me, I did my best to stuff it away until the first tears I've cried in a while started to flow.

But even though all the expectations I'd had this weekend were thrown to the ground, My friends and I went about our day just as we had planned. We channeled our inner kid at a children's science museum, ate some good food, and shopped at our favorite store. We laughed and goofed off for hours. It was exactly what I needed to get my mind back on track.

Later that night, my friends left for a little while and I, for a reason I'm unsure of, looked into the mirror. And as soon as I did, I felt like someone hand rested on my shoulder and it was as if God had leaned into my ear and whispered "you are so blessed."

And He is so right.

You know what? God is a really cool dude. He never ceases to remind me He's always here. I may not see him. I may forget to look. But He never leaves. Not even for a second do I doubt that He is present. I may have never seen God, but I know that I have met him. And I know that he will never leave.

I am so blessed. I am so thankful.

His love forever,
Parker


"Who am I, that the Lord of all the Earth, would care to know my name? Would care to feel my pain?"
-"Who Am I?" Casting Crowns


Post Title from: "Who Am I?" Casting Crowns

It's Never Too Late, To Be Brand New...

Happy New Year! I know, I know, I'm twelve days late. Things have been extremely hectic, but I'm here now, ready to commit to a new year.

I can honestly say that 2011 was the best year of my life. If you've read any of my previous blogs, you would know why. I graduated high school, got accepted to the college of my dreams, moved to my favorite city in the world, made incredible friends, and started the rest of my life. 2011 was the year everything changed. Looking back on my new years resolutions from last year, I could not be more proud of who I've become. I went from someone afraid of taking chances, to doing things I'd never thought I'd do. Instead of just talking about the things I wanted to do in life, I began to do them. My writing went from beings seen by no one, to being something I wanted to share with everyone I came to know. The love and faith of Christ was shown to me in more ways than I can comprehend. I learned to speak my mind; writing the post,"Speak Now,"just before graduation turned out to be one of the boldest and best decisions I've ever made. I left high school and started college with no regrets. I am still incredibly happy. Each one of these things was part of my resolutions for 2011, and by working towards them, I truly had the greatest year of my life.

But now that 2011 has passed, I am ready for a new year. 2012 will be a year of firsts. This year, I will vote for the first time. I will possibly spend the first summer away from home. I might even survive "the end of the world." And there is something in me that makes me feel like 2012 is going to be a huge year. Even in the first few days of this year, I feel as though 2012 is going to be my year. There is so much I want to do, so many opportunities to take advantage of. I want to start with this years resolutions.

1. BE BOLD: I want to do things that scare me, things I've always wanted to do but made excuses not to.  Things like taking voice lessons, singing in front of people, pursuing friendships and relationships, trying things I've never done, taking chances, letting everyone see me exactly as I am.

2. MAKE A BUCKET LIST: Everything in this list may sort of build off the first idea of "being bold." There is no telling when God will choose to bring me home. I want to take this year to make a list of all of the things I want to do before I enter eternity. I've always been about living life with no regret. I want to leave this Earth knowing I've done all the things in life I've always wanted to do. There is no room for regret in Heaven.

3. COMPLETE AT LEAST 3 ITEMS FROM SAID BUCKET LIST: As clique as is sounds, there is no time like the present. If you had the opportunity to do something you've always wanted to do, why wait? I hope that I will take the opportunity to complete at least three things this year (hopefully more), even if they terrify me.

4. BE A LIGHT: God became the light of my life only a short six years ago. Until that time, my life was full of sadness and darkness. After seeing what God has done in my life, there is nothing I want more than for someone to experience the joy that comes with a life in Him. If I could help just one person find the joy He has given to me, I will have lived a full life. But I cannot become a light for Him if I am not walking with Him wholeheartedly. This year, I want to live in Him more and more everyday. I want to help someone in anyway I can.

5. WRITE, WRITE, AND WRITE SOME MORE: As I've said before, there are very few things in life I love more than writing. Yet, for some reason, I have become extremely lazy. I've had little inspiration, and what little inspiration I had, I often let it pass without doing anything with it. That is not how I want to be this year. I want to blog way more often than I have been. I want to journal. I want to write more creative pieces. I want to finish my most recent story, and maybe my old one. Writing is a part of who I am, its engrained in how I think, how I speak. I want to make my work the best that it can possibly be, and the only way to do that is to write. Good, bad, great, or horrible.

6. JUST BE HAPPY: Who knew this would be something that people have to remind themselves to do? It seems so simple, but people often let other things get in the way of being happy. This year, I pledge to just be happy. To do things I love to do. To give myself a break when I need it. To be spontaneous. To be lazy. To laugh more than I cry. To dance when I feel like dancing. To tell the people I love that I love them. To find the beauty in every bad situation. To thank God everyday for everything He does for me, even though I don't deserve it. Being miserable is a choice, and I deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy. 

There are a few other things I want to work on in my life this year, but I will concentrate on these for now.

 Have you ever just felt like God was telling your heart it was ready? I'm ready. Ready to make this year the best it can possibly be. I'll be brave. I'll be strong. I'll be happy. 

What will you be?

Love in Christ forever,

Parker.

Post Title from: "Innocent" -Taylor Swift