Sometimes i just want to write. no particular reason, just because its how i work. Its usually about this time of night, when the rest of the world is settling into bed, I'm lying here awake, for no reason other than to be awake. When my mind gets too overflowed, i just need to empty my head. Its nights like tonight, 80 degrees and a slight breeze, that remind me of the summer nights i spent writing by the pool or looking out my window as i wrote poems or stories. it makes me long for the simplicity of a journal, a pen, and an idea. Here, i'm living in the place of my dreams and im reminded more and more everyday that this is where I'm meant to be. But sometimes i get so busy i forget to think. I get so preoccupied with the next paper, test, or sorority event that i forget that it is ok to sit down and just write every once in a while. But, inspiration is sometimes hard to find in college. My mind is so full of information that i have to keep until i can regurgitate it back onto my computer screen to turn in later. As much as I am not really looking forward to spending the summer away from this place, i am excited to take some time to really dive back into writing. But, this summer will be full of change that I'm a little afraid of. I'll be tackling an issue I've dealt with my entire life. Despite my fear, I could not be more excited to make this change. I cant wait to take this summer and work on me. I will not allow myself to fall back in to old habits just because I've regained my original address. Who I have become here at school is who I really am. The thing I'm most afraid of is loosing who I've become. I've never been happier. Home isn't exactly an environment that I thrive in. I just hope that i can remain the same. Home will always be where I can from, but it isnt who I am.
But I still have time here before i really have to think about that. For now, I'll reminisce on the nights I spent on a quite night by the water, where there was no worry other than the amount of mosquito bites I would have the next day.
There is something so simple about writing. You don't need to know what you want to say. Sometimes when you write, the words seem to arrange themselves in ways your brain didn't know how to form on its own. There are no rules, no grades. There doesnt have to be any audience but you. I cant wait to do more of it. But for now, I should probably sleep. Though knowing me, sleep doesn't come easy. Except for when I write. Thank God for this escape. Good night, and may you find your escape.
Post Title from: "The House That Built Me" -Miranda Lambert
