the latter half of this year has not been an easy one, to say the least. This may, my brother decided to check himself into a rehabilitation program, which was the absolute best decision he has ever made. But, it did put a lot of stress on my family this summer. There was a lot of stress and heaviness that surrounded my house, and it was really difficult for me to be home this summer. To be honest, it was one of the worst summers I've ever had. But I have learned SO much from it. I know now how important it is to let your friends be your friends. For so long, I had to do everything on my own. I had it all together, at least I thought I did. I didn't need anyone else to help me get through things, because I'd always done it on my own. But this summer after I had the worst fight I'd ever had with my mom, and my friends drove 30 minutes to pick me up from the side of the road and let me cry for hours, I learned that that was what friendship was. It was people who wanted to be there for you, who wanted to hear about your problems and how you were hurting. People that didnt care if you didn't have it all together all the time. My friends showed me that this summer. And I've decided it's ok to let people save you, that sometimes you can't save yourself. And there is nothing wrong with that. Which brings me to my new year's resolutions from last year.
Here's a little bit of an update on how I followed them this year, and what I learned along the way.
1. BE BOLD
This was definitely the hardest resolution I've ever made. I've always been afraid to take risks. I hated the idea of doing something I couldn't take control of. I still struggle with it, but I can proudly say I'm trying, and I've had a few successes. And a few failures. This year, I decided to take voice lessons at school. I sang in front of people. And it really wasnt all that terrifying. I asked someone to formal, kind of got rejected, asked another, and had my first date to a dance. The first half was a little bit of an ego diminisher, but im glad i asked. the second half was more fun that i thought it would be, and something i'd never done before. things with boys FREAK me out, so a little pat on the back for myself! (haha) I went out for an interview for an internship at my dream job, which was the most surreal moment of my life even though I didnt get the job (hey! i got an interview!) These are only a few I can think of now, but I think I can say I stuck with this one, and hope to continue to do so in 2013!
2. MAKE A BUCKET LIST
CHECK! and i throughly enjoyed it! I keep it in a life journal, and i can tell you its the coolest feeling checking something off. which brings me to number 3!
3. COMPLETE AT LEAST 3 ITEMS OFF SAID BUCKET LIST
This was the most fun resolution of them all! This year I:
- attended the Grammy's
- Visited Los Angeles
- Put my feet in the pacific ocean
- was in a music video
- played with a penguin
- visit the hollywood sign (kind of it was from a distance!)
- see a live performance of Rocky Horror Picture show
- a few more I cant think of now! (my bucket list is at school and I'm at home!)
these are just the ones I've done this year! If you have never made a bucket list: DO IT. It has literally changed my life. With so much happening lately with people dying way too soon, I am so glad to have a list in front of me of all the things I want to do in life and being doing them.
4. BE A LIGHT
This is one I cant know, but only hope I've achieved.
5. WRITE WRITE WRITE AND WRITE SOME MORE
I am SO proud to say that I have stuck to this resolution more than I have in the past. I took a creative writing class this semester with a professor that just ignited my spark for writing again. He was incredible and so helpful. He made me feel like I might actually be good at this. I learned so much about fiction writing and editing, and wrote so many pieces I'm actually proud of. I also blogged once a month every month this year which is huge for me! I am so excited to be writing regularly again.
6. JUST BE HAPPY
I will admit that this was harder this year than it was last. I think "sophmore slump" kind of defines things perfectly. As I said before, this summer was really really hard for me. Aside from an amazing trip to California in which I got to spend 6 days with two of my good friends traveling to 10 cities, I spent the whole summer at home, taking the blunt of a lot, if not most, of what was happening in my family. Those days were hard, especially toward the end of summer. But being at school is what makes my heart happy, and I was so glad to get back. But things are really different this year. Not in a bad way, just different. I think the freshman high has worn off a little, especially not living in the dorm environment i had last year. My roommate situation this year can be really tough at times. My best friend transferred home, and one of my good friends from last year isnt around much anymore. So things are different, but I still love it so so much. And things are getting so much better. My brother will be 7 months sober in a few days. I have incredible friends, both at home and at school, that I know I will have forever. My family is happy and healthy. So even though things were really hard for a few months there, I can call this one accomplished. Because I am so happy. And I am so blessed. And God has never once given up on me.
So there you have it. A short synopsis of my 2012. It was great, and I am so looking forward to 2013.
Be on the look out for my resolutions for 2013 coming within the next few days/week or so.
Happy New Year everyone!
God Bless,
Parker
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