Last Years Resolutions: Did I Accomplish Them?

It's that time of year again, which means it's time for my annual new years blog post. however, this one is going to be a little different, considering i havent really thought through what i want my resolutions to be this year, so my list of resolutions will come a little later. this time, i decided i wanted to take my resolutions from last year, and see how far ive come this year. 

the latter half of this year has not been an easy one, to say the least. This may, my brother decided to check himself into a rehabilitation program, which was the absolute best decision he has ever made. But, it did put a lot of stress on my family this summer. There was a lot of stress and heaviness that surrounded my house, and it was really difficult for me to be home this summer. To be honest, it was one of the worst summers I've ever had. But I have learned SO much from it. I know now how important it is to let your friends be your friends. For so long, I had to do everything on my own. I had it all together, at least I thought I did. I didn't need anyone else to help me get through things, because I'd always done it on my own. But this summer after I had the worst fight I'd ever had with my mom, and my friends drove 30 minutes to pick me up from the side of the road and let me cry for hours, I learned that that was what friendship was. It was people who wanted to be there for you, who wanted to hear about your problems and how you were hurting. People that didnt care if you didn't have it all together all the time. My friends showed me that this summer. And I've decided it's ok to let people save you, that sometimes you can't save yourself. And there is nothing wrong with that. Which brings me to my new year's resolutions from last year.

Here's a little bit of an update on how I followed them this year, and what I learned along the way.

1. BE BOLD

This was definitely the hardest resolution I've ever made. I've always been afraid to take risks. I hated the idea of doing something I couldn't take control of. I still struggle with it, but I can proudly say I'm trying, and I've had a few successes. And a few failures. This year, I decided to take voice lessons at school. I sang in front of people. And it really wasnt all that terrifying. I asked someone to formal, kind of got rejected, asked another, and had my first date to a dance. The first half was a little bit of an ego diminisher, but im glad i asked. the second half was more fun that i thought it would be, and something i'd never done before. things with boys FREAK me out, so a little pat on the back for myself! (haha) I went out for an interview for an internship at my dream job, which was the most surreal moment of my life even though I didnt get the job (hey! i got an interview!) These are only a few I can think of now, but I think I can say I stuck with this one, and hope to continue to do so in 2013!

2. MAKE A BUCKET LIST

CHECK! and i throughly enjoyed it! I keep it in a life journal, and i can tell you its the coolest feeling checking something off. which brings me to number 3!

3. COMPLETE AT LEAST 3 ITEMS OFF SAID BUCKET LIST

This was the most fun resolution of them all! This year I:

• attended the Grammy's
• Visited Los Angeles
• Put my feet in the pacific ocean
• was in a music video
• played with a penguin
• visit the hollywood sign (kind of it was from a distance!)
• see a live performance of Rocky Horror Picture show
• a few more I cant think of now! (my bucket list is at school and I'm at home!)

these are just the ones I've done this year! If you have never made a bucket list: DO IT. It has literally changed my life. With so much happening lately with people dying way too soon, I am so glad to have a list in front of me of all the things I want to do in life and being doing them. 

4. BE A LIGHT

This is one I cant know, but only hope I've achieved. 

5. WRITE WRITE WRITE AND WRITE SOME MORE

I am SO proud to say that I have stuck to this resolution more than I have in the past. I took a creative writing class this semester with a professor that just ignited my spark for writing again. He was incredible and so helpful. He made me feel like I might actually be good at this. I learned so much about fiction writing and editing, and wrote so many pieces I'm actually proud of. I also blogged once a month every month this year which is huge for me! I am so excited to be writing regularly again. 

6. JUST BE HAPPY

I will admit that this was harder this year than it was last. I think "sophmore slump" kind of defines things perfectly. As I said before, this summer was really really hard for me. Aside from an amazing trip to California in which I got to spend 6 days with two of my good friends traveling to 10 cities, I spent the whole summer at home, taking the blunt of a lot, if not most, of what was happening in my family. Those days were hard, especially toward the end of summer. But being at school is what makes my heart happy, and I was so glad to get back. But things are really different this year. Not in a bad way, just different. I think the freshman high has worn off a little, especially not living in the dorm environment i had last year. My roommate situation this year can be really tough at times. My best friend transferred home, and one of my good friends from last year isnt around much anymore. So things are different, but I still love it so so much. And things are getting so much better. My brother will be 7 months sober in a few days. I have incredible friends, both at home and at school, that I know I will have forever. My family is happy and healthy. So even though things were really hard for a few months there, I can call this one accomplished. Because I am so happy. And I am so blessed. And God has never once given up on me. 

So there you have it. A short synopsis of my 2012. It was great, and I am so looking forward to 2013. 

Be on the look out for my resolutions for 2013 coming within the next few days/week or so.

Happy New Year everyone! 

God Bless,

Parker

I Love This Bar...

Tonight, I realized that I go to church. In a bar. 

If you know me well, or have been following my blog for a while, you probably know that I've had some no so great experiences with alcohol in my life. Like watch it destroy people kind of experiences. And to be totally honest, because of those things, i really, really do not like excessive alcohol consumption. 

But tonight in church, we talked about taking a moment to recognize all of the ways God has been perusing you every day, the obvious, the subtle, and the ironic. And BOY was mine ironic. 

So I would just like to take this short post to share a realization with you that may seem obvious to everyone else, but really hit me very first time today:

God brought the daughter of an alcoholic and the sibling of an addict to find her home in a church that means in a bar, a place that i should hate with every fiber of my being. A place that makes what destroyed the lives of two people very close to me... recreational. But I love every single piece of that bar more than I can ever explain. That bar in the middle of the city I love, houses the church that I was always meant to find. And i realized today that I was brought to that church, so that i could sit in that service today, just so God could teach me that he could take a place of chaos and sin and destruction, and turn it into a place that drowns in His glory.

That bar is a metaphor for my life, and I will never enter that building the same way ever again. He is so good.  

God Bless,

Parker Roberts

title: "I Love This Bar" by Toby Keith

Autumn Leaves Falling Down Like Pieces Into Place...

There is something about the stillness of a lake as you sit at its very edge in the darkness. There is something about a fire burning beside you as you tell stories and laugh with friends. There's something even more about watching stars steam across a clear starlit sky. 

There is something about driving around blasting music with your friends. There is something about the colors of fall in the Tennessee hills as light beams through branches. There is something about music that grips your soul and makes you want to scream and laugh and cry all at the same time. There's something infinite about knowing the songs will always exist, only changing because you change. 

It's these moments that I know my God not only exists, but He lives. He is here in every moment. Every song, every movie, every friend, every color changing leaf. He illuminates your darkness before you lose your way. 

I am so blessed. And I am so thankful that the God of the universe cares enough to know us, and know us fully. He is faithful. And He is perfect. 

Title from "All Too Well" by Taylor Swift

Couldn't wait to get going, but wasnt quite ready to leave...

Its trips like this that remind me why i left home. But its trips like this that also remind me why i come home. Sure, sometimes there are things in families you just can't escape. no matte how many times you leave and come home, things are still the same. 

But tonight i realized that it is those things that bring us to the people we care most about. Without the things each of my friends and I have gone through in our lives, we would not have the connection we have with one another. We would never understand each other the way we do, had we never experienced the hardships we did. We get each other in a way that no one else understands. We've all had to take care of ourselves for a long time, but in that, we take care of each other. We all know what its like to have to fend for yourself. But we also know how it feels to have someone come along beside you and walk with you through the dark times. That is why we are friends. Because we know when to be that person for someone else. We know that we have that person for when we need one for ourselves. 

I am so incredibly blessed to be even a small part of these girls lives. they keep me grounded. i will never have friends like this ever again in my lifetime. and i pray i will never take them for granted.

i am so thankful for the madness. because from it comes my strength and foundation.

title: lyrics from "American Honey" by Lady Antebellum

Your Voice is My Heart's Song...

Its amazing how just the sound of someone's voice can change everything. How when you haven't heard that voice in so long, it literally lifts your spirits and makes you feel weightless. I had no idea how wonderful it would make me feel just to know that he was still there. I always knew he was safe, but I guess knowing isnt always knowing.

When we spoke, he began to cry at the sound of my voice. He hadn't expected to hear it today, just like i hadn't expected to hear his. He didn't say too terribly much, but it was the mutual relief in those silences that said more than any words could have said. He said it best when he told me, "There are so many things that I want to tell you, but it's not the right time." And he was right. That moment was about hearing each others voices after a long dark period apart. Sure there was silence, but we were together in that silence. I could picture myself standing next to him by the lake, watching the storm roll in over the mountains, just as he had described to me. I imagined us just standing there in silence, just so relieved and feeling blessed to be in each others presence.

My heart soared with happiness when he told me he had received my letters. He told me that he had shared them with his friends there, and that they talk about me all the time now, about how they really want to meet me someday. He told me how much he brags about how proud he is of me. And it still blows my mind to think that after everything he has been through the past few months, he is the one telling me that he is proud of me. This is the side of my brother that I know so well. The selfless, proud older brother that will defend his loyalty above all else. I am the one who should be proud of him. And I am. More so than he will ever know.

The only thing that could over shadow how proud I am of my brother, is the excitement I feel knowing it is only 2 short weeks until we are reunited again, if only for a little while. But every day apart is another day closer to being together.

And I cannot wait. Congratulations Big Brother. Stay Strong. See you at the finish line :)

Words Will Be Just Words, Until You Bring Them to Life

Have you ever been reading a book and without any warning, come across a line that seems to describe your life perfectly? Have you ever stopped abruptly and reread the sentence over and over again, because you couldn't have put your thoughts together in the same way? Well, this is mine. Its a line from Clare Abshire, a character in Audrey Niffenegger's novel The Time Traveler's Wife. In this scene of the book, Henry (her husband) has made a huge mistake, but Clare comes to lay with him and comfort him despite her anger. When he tells her "You are so good," she responds by "I'm not good. I'm afraid." (pictured above). So many people may just skim over this line as if it was just another seemingly insignificant part of the story. But it was not until this point in the book that I actually understood how Clare was feeling.

Though the context of this statement may be very different from my life, I cannot help but feel like this line was what I've always felt about myself. My entire life, I've been told how "good" I am. I never get in trouble; I have always been seen as the "good" child. I never broke the rules or did things to hurt other people intentionally. I never took risks. I always played everything safe. And because of these things, everyone thought i was so "good." And maybe I am "good." But it is the second half of Clare's statement that really hits home for me. More than anything, I'm afraid. I am afraid of what will happen if I break the rules. I'm terrified of getting in trouble. I don't take risks because I'm afraid of humiliating myself or hurting other people. I'm afraid of the chaos that comes along with not being in control, so I do my best to control things as much as I can. I choose to make safe choices because they are just that: safe.

Don't get me wrong, I like to believe that, overall, I am a good person. I do my best to treat people well and make smart decisions, because I truly believe that by doing so, you lead a more fulfilling life. But do not think for a second that I am "good" because I do not get in trouble. There are so many things worth getting in trouble for in this world; things that you are passionate about that may not settle well with others. But there are the small things in life that are worth it too. Things like sneaking out late at night, spending a little more money on something than you probably should have, going out on a limb and asking someone out because you think there is even the slightest possibility they will say yes. But, the majority of the time, these are things that I don't do. Sure, maybe it's because I'm "good" and follow the rules. But more times than not, it's because I'm afraid.

I want to learn to relate to this statement minus the second half. To learn it's ok to be a little rebellious every once in a while. To learn that getting in trouble doesn't always mean you aren't "good." As long as no one gets hurt, a late night sneak out or a few extra bucks on that pair of shoes won't make you a lesser person. It's all in good fun, and someday I'll be able to make the distinction.


Post Title from "Another World"- One Direction (please dont judge me for my music selection! hahaha)

Out of All These Things I've Done, I Will Love You Better Now...

Tonight, I really miss him, and I don't know why it's hitting me like this. There has been nothing really to set it off, but tonight I find myself wishing I could just talk to him. Not about anything in particular, just say hello, tell him how proud I am of him. I find that every time I find new music, all I want to do is tell him about it. I want to show him all of this wonderful music I've been finding that I know he would love, but I have no way to share it with him. So for now I'll tuck it away in my memory, and remember to tell him when I see him again.

I didn't think it would be this hard. I've been away from him while I was at school for longer than this. But I guess even then I could talk to him whenever I wanted. Maybe not being able to talk to him has made me realize how often I really want to. I took that for granted. 

Parts of me feel so selfish for missing him. He's doing something so amazing for himself. He's making his life what it always should have been. I guess I just wish I could share it with him. Be there to hold his hand if he needs someone to hold it. Or to tell him he can do it whenever he doubts himself. I just want to show him that he never has to do any of this alone. I'll always be there for him. Part of me knows that he believes that, but I wish I knew how to show him how much I mean that.

He sees me for so much better than I really am. He never forgot to tell me how proud he was of me every time we spoke. I should have done that more. 

But, there is nothing I can change about the past. I'll make an effort in the future to remind him just how much I love him. That there is nothing that can tear apart brother and sister. We're in this together no matter what. Us against the world, just like it's always been. 

I just have to keep reminding myself that each day apart from each other is one day closer to being together again. 

He'll be ok. I'll be ok. We'll all be ok. We've got Someone looking out for us every step of the way.


post title from "Lego House" by Ed Sheeran


**update**

i sometimes forget how much writing helps me. i can just sit and write for a few hours about how im feeling and suddenly i feel like things makes sense. like all the things that have been swirling around in my head just find there way into sentences that seem to write themselves. it makes me feel like maybe ive know the answers all along, that maybe im not as messed up as i think i am sometimes. 

i truly believe that God gave me my writing ability as a way of spending time with Him, even if its indirect. Its amazing how he can teach me so many things, just in a letter i wrote to my brother. He teaches me lessons when i least expect to hear them. I am eternally grateful for the favor He has shown me in my life. Without Him, I am nothing. With Him, I am whoever I want to be. 

For as much as she stumbled, she running...

I wish life didn't have to be this way. I wish it didn't take tragedy to make us see what really matters in life. But its moments like today, walking up to a house nearly burned to the ground, that make you realize how close we are to nothing.

I woke up this morning to a message from a friend telling me that another friend's house had caught fire this morning, the morning of her high school graduation. My heart shattered into a million pieces knowing that she had no idea. Her family had decided to give her as much as her graduation day as possible before telling her the news: a fire in the garage had taken out half of the house.  Even now as the day comes to a close, my heart sinks at the thought of losing everything. Not even having the simple things we use everyday to keep ourselves clean and clothed. And of all days, on your high school graduation.

I will never doubt that God works in mysterious ways. But sometimes his timing is hard to understand. I know in my heart that God does everything to make us better. I know that He must often break us down in order to build us up in Him. Even though she and her family have suffered tragedy today, I saw a girl with more faith in Jesus than I could imagine. She never once complained. She was the one comforting others and telling them to thank God that things weren't worse and that everyone was alive. She, who had lost nearly everything she owned, was full of thankfulness and faithfulness. I hope that someday I can have the strength she exhibited today.

It's been a long, hard, emotional day today. For the first time in what seems like forever, I am ready to go to sleep tonight and wake up to a new day. I can't wait to lay in bed and thank God until I fall asleep for his faithfulness in my life. He never goes a second of the day without teaching me something new, without some sign that He is always by my side. If nothing else comes of today, I hope she knows that her strength has inspired me. She is truly one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. Tonight, because of her, I will go to sleep more thankful than ever for life, and thank God for sparing yet another today. Though He may not do things in ways we understand, He can truly do all things. Sometimes it just takes a little hurt for us to truly feel His love.

post title from: "Guinevere" - Eli Young Band

Have You Forgotten?

It's amazing what God can reveal to us in such simple terms, that we wonder how we could have ever forgotten in the first place. Before my devotional tonight, I prayed so hard that God would reveal something to me that helped ease the stress of this hectic week (class registration AND housing selection... on the same day! UGH!). My devotion tonight was on the story of Martha and Mary in Luke.

The story is about Martha and Mary, two sisters who invite Jesus into their home. While Martha works stressfully in the kitchen to prepare the meal, her sister Mary sits in front of Jesus and listens to what he is saying. Stressed and in need of assistance, Martha asks Jesus to tell her sister to help her with the meal. But Jesus tells Martha that Mary has discovered the main course, and that it (the love of God) will never leave her.

Tonight, I am Martha. I have been running around frantic trying to carve my perfect schedule and find my perfect housing. I have been nervous that things will not work out the way I've planned. But the truth is, nothing ever goes the way I planned. Everything that has ever happened to me was part of HIS plan, not mine. Why should this be any different? No matter how insignificant these things may seem, they are not so small that God will overlook them. He is faithful every second of every day, and when we are distracted with all of our stressful, daily responsibilities, just as Martha was, we forget that God can do all the things we think He can't.

We all get stressed out. It's not a crime and it doesn't mean that you don't trust God's plan. For most of us, it just takes a little reminding that, as it says on the wall just above my bed, God is with you in ALL that you do. And when God says all, he means all. From battling cancer to choosing next semester's classes, he is there every step of the way. Things will work out the best way they possibly can, because He, the creator of all the world, took the time to make it just as it should be. And I just needed a little reminder of that tonight, and i thought maybe someone else needed it too.


Post Title from: "Have You Forgotten" - Darryl Worley

The House That Built Me

Sometimes i just want to write. no particular reason, just because its how i work. Its usually about this time of night, when the rest of the world is settling into bed, I'm lying here awake, for no reason other than to be awake. When my mind gets too overflowed, i just need to empty my head. Its nights like tonight, 80 degrees and a slight breeze, that remind me of the summer nights i spent writing by the pool or looking out my window as i wrote poems or stories. it makes me long for the simplicity of a journal, a pen, and an idea. Here, i'm living in the place of my dreams and im reminded more and more everyday that this is where I'm meant to be. But sometimes i get so busy i forget to think. I get so preoccupied with the next paper, test, or sorority event that i forget that it is ok to sit down and just write every once in a while. But, inspiration is sometimes hard to find in college. My mind is so full of information that i have to keep until i can regurgitate it back onto my computer screen to turn in later. As much as I am not really looking forward to spending the summer away from this place, i am excited to take some time to really dive back into writing. But, this summer will be full of change that I'm a little afraid of. I'll be tackling an issue I've dealt with my entire life. Despite my fear, I could not be more excited to make this change. I cant wait to take this summer and work on me. I will not allow myself to fall back in to old habits just because I've regained my original address. Who I have become here at school is who I really am. The thing I'm most afraid of is loosing who I've become. I've never been happier. Home isn't exactly an environment that I thrive in. I just hope that i can remain the same. Home will always be where I can from, but it isnt who I am.

But I still have time here before i really have to think about that. For now, I'll reminisce on the nights I spent on a quite night by the water, where there was no worry other than the amount of mosquito bites I would have the next day.

There is something so simple about writing. You don't need to know what you want to say. Sometimes when you write, the words seem to arrange themselves in ways your brain didn't know how to form on its own. There are no rules, no grades. There doesnt have to be any audience but you. I cant wait to do more of it. But for now, I should probably sleep. Though knowing me, sleep doesn't come easy. Except for when I write. Thank God for this escape. Good night, and may you find your escape.


Post Title from: "The House That Built Me" -Miranda Lambert

And I'm Not Settling For Anything Less Than Everything...

I found this photo today of this girl. Her tattoo says "happily ever after." When asked about what it meant she said "life taught me to believe in happy endings- what else should be worth living for?" And i feel like this is exactly what i've been thinking about lately. Something in side of me has always told me to hold on to hope that happily ever after really does exist. Maybe that movie romance isn't easy to find, but its its rarity that makes it so beautiful. And  this girl is right, if we don't continue to believe in happily ever after, what are we living for? 

I just know one day God is going to bring me someone who is going to love me exactly the way I need to be loved. He'll be funny, passionate, loving, and everything i could ever need and more. And I'll wait for him. Because I still believe in happy endings. And I believe God is writing mine each and every day. 

Post Title from: "Settlin'" -Sugarland

I'm just sitting out here watching airplanes...

Well greetings from 30000 ft! Yep you guessed it, I'm on an airplane. I am currently on my way across the country to attend... Wait for it... The Grammys... In los Angeles. I still can't believe it as I sit here on a plane with my face glued to the window. I'm like a child on their first trip to Disney world. As I am writing, the city lights are beginning to come into view, and the grid system is becoming clear in the darkness.  I am proud to say that bucket list item number one of the year has been marked off. One step closer to completing one my new years resolutions. I think the thing that rattles my brain the most is that I am currently thousands of miles away from home with no parents, just me and my two friends. Tomorrow, we will get dressed and head to an award show that the entire nation watches every year. We will sit in a room full of incredible artists, even if we are watching from the nosebleeds. we will mingle with stars at the after patry  We will come back and sleep on the floor of the airport after the after party, like true college students.  And I cannot wait.  I am living the life I only dreamed of, and I am so blessed.

Our Grammy Adventure Vlog :)

Post Title from: "Watching Airplanes" - Gary Allan

Who Am I, That the Lord of All the Earth, Would Care To Know My Name?

If I'm being honest, I had a really terrible morning today. Some of my expectations were disappointed and I got angry. Probably the most angry I've been in a very long time. I was angry, frustrated, disappointed, sad, embarrassed all wrapped up into one emotional mess. Of course being me, I did my best to stuff it away until the first tears I've cried in a while started to flow.

But even though all the expectations I'd had this weekend were thrown to the ground, My friends and I went about our day just as we had planned. We channeled our inner kid at a children's science museum, ate some good food, and shopped at our favorite store. We laughed and goofed off for hours. It was exactly what I needed to get my mind back on track.

Later that night, my friends left for a little while and I, for a reason I'm unsure of, looked into the mirror. And as soon as I did, I felt like someone hand rested on my shoulder and it was as if God had leaned into my ear and whispered "you are so blessed."

And He is so right.

You know what? God is a really cool dude. He never ceases to remind me He's always here. I may not see him. I may forget to look. But He never leaves. Not even for a second do I doubt that He is present. I may have never seen God, but I know that I have met him. And I know that he will never leave.

I am so blessed. I am so thankful.

His love forever,
Parker


"Who am I, that the Lord of all the Earth, would care to know my name? Would care to feel my pain?"
-"Who Am I?" Casting Crowns


Post Title from: "Who Am I?" Casting Crowns

It's Never Too Late, To Be Brand New...

Happy New Year! I know, I know, I'm twelve days late. Things have been extremely hectic, but I'm here now, ready to commit to a new year.

I can honestly say that 2011 was the best year of my life. If you've read any of my previous blogs, you would know why. I graduated high school, got accepted to the college of my dreams, moved to my favorite city in the world, made incredible friends, and started the rest of my life. 2011 was the year everything changed. Looking back on my new years resolutions from last year, I could not be more proud of who I've become. I went from someone afraid of taking chances, to doing things I'd never thought I'd do. Instead of just talking about the things I wanted to do in life, I began to do them. My writing went from beings seen by no one, to being something I wanted to share with everyone I came to know. The love and faith of Christ was shown to me in more ways than I can comprehend. I learned to speak my mind; writing the post,"Speak Now,"just before graduation turned out to be one of the boldest and best decisions I've ever made. I left high school and started college with no regrets. I am still incredibly happy. Each one of these things was part of my resolutions for 2011, and by working towards them, I truly had the greatest year of my life.

But now that 2011 has passed, I am ready for a new year. 2012 will be a year of firsts. This year, I will vote for the first time. I will possibly spend the first summer away from home. I might even survive "the end of the world." And there is something in me that makes me feel like 2012 is going to be a huge year. Even in the first few days of this year, I feel as though 2012 is going to be my year. There is so much I want to do, so many opportunities to take advantage of. I want to start with this years resolutions.

1. BE BOLD: I want to do things that scare me, things I've always wanted to do but made excuses not to.  Things like taking voice lessons, singing in front of people, pursuing friendships and relationships, trying things I've never done, taking chances, letting everyone see me exactly as I am.

2. MAKE A BUCKET LIST: Everything in this list may sort of build off the first idea of "being bold." There is no telling when God will choose to bring me home. I want to take this year to make a list of all of the things I want to do before I enter eternity. I've always been about living life with no regret. I want to leave this Earth knowing I've done all the things in life I've always wanted to do. There is no room for regret in Heaven.

3. COMPLETE AT LEAST 3 ITEMS FROM SAID BUCKET LIST: As clique as is sounds, there is no time like the present. If you had the opportunity to do something you've always wanted to do, why wait? I hope that I will take the opportunity to complete at least three things this year (hopefully more), even if they terrify me.

4. BE A LIGHT: God became the light of my life only a short six years ago. Until that time, my life was full of sadness and darkness. After seeing what God has done in my life, there is nothing I want more than for someone to experience the joy that comes with a life in Him. If I could help just one person find the joy He has given to me, I will have lived a full life. But I cannot become a light for Him if I am not walking with Him wholeheartedly. This year, I want to live in Him more and more everyday. I want to help someone in anyway I can.

5. WRITE, WRITE, AND WRITE SOME MORE: As I've said before, there are very few things in life I love more than writing. Yet, for some reason, I have become extremely lazy. I've had little inspiration, and what little inspiration I had, I often let it pass without doing anything with it. That is not how I want to be this year. I want to blog way more often than I have been. I want to journal. I want to write more creative pieces. I want to finish my most recent story, and maybe my old one. Writing is a part of who I am, its engrained in how I think, how I speak. I want to make my work the best that it can possibly be, and the only way to do that is to write. Good, bad, great, or horrible.

6. JUST BE HAPPY: Who knew this would be something that people have to remind themselves to do? It seems so simple, but people often let other things get in the way of being happy. This year, I pledge to just be happy. To do things I love to do. To give myself a break when I need it. To be spontaneous. To be lazy. To laugh more than I cry. To dance when I feel like dancing. To tell the people I love that I love them. To find the beauty in every bad situation. To thank God everyday for everything He does for me, even though I don't deserve it. Being miserable is a choice, and I deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy. 

There are a few other things I want to work on in my life this year, but I will concentrate on these for now.

 Have you ever just felt like God was telling your heart it was ready? I'm ready. Ready to make this year the best it can possibly be. I'll be brave. I'll be strong. I'll be happy. 

What will you be?

Love in Christ forever,

Parker.

Post Title from: "Innocent" -Taylor Swift